Behemoth - The SatanistDecided to check this out as the general consensus (whatever that is) appears to be that ‘The Satanist’ represents a return to form or something. Personally, I’ve found that everything Behemoth have recorded since the magnificent ‘Satanica’ (15 years ago!) has been superfluous and I have to say the over-hyped Poles’ tenth full-length is equally irrelevant.

Not sure what everybody is fawning about. Here we have nine thoroughly boring, throwaway tracks of middle-of-the-road, uninspired, run-of-the-mill, painfully-melodic, polished-to-all-fuck, major-label Death Metal that is completely benign and pointless. Stupidly, I had got my hopes up but this is really, really terrible stuff. Sugary, syrupy metal with no punch, no menace, no edge; but plenty of horrendous solos.

Generally, people are so easily pleased and so fucking dumb. I mean, what kind of idiots enjoy this? Embarrassing.

Evilometer: 000/666